Life is a series of crushing disappointments, and this is no exception: I have recently learned that Orbeez, which are tiny, absorbent polymer balls that expand to 100 times their original size when wet, and which YouTube personalities love to purchase by the millions and pour into pools, have existed for years.

And none of you posers thought to tell me!

SEE ALSO: 9 pool floats you need right now

Check this out. Here’s a guy putting 25 million Orbeez in a swimming pool, where they become large and jelly-like, and jumping in to see if he’ll float. This video has everything I like: yelling, science, and a vague connection to the Salem Witch Trials. …

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